A blonde said, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.

I was relieved when he told me all I needed was new turn signal fluid.”

On this rare occasion my husband and I went out on a date. Our wonderful baby sitter had put the children to bed and all was good for the night.

We arrived home and I was getting the run down on how the night at home went with the kids. There seemed to only be one hiccup. Ainsley had wanted the babysitter to sing her song about the witch to her at bedtime. The babysitter sang every song she could think of before she gave up. Ainsley was most upset and finally cried herself to sleep.

Ainsley Grace how sweet thou art
to save a witch like me….

We dropped the car off to the auto repair shop on Monday and my week just hasn’t been the same. I organized to have coffee with friend and fellow parent of my daughter’s classmate for Wednesday morning. And then I received an inviation to have breakfast on Thursday with a group of women from church.

So Tuesday morning I got all dressed up for coffee! No go! Then this morning, (Wednesday) I got a ride to the meeting point for the breakfast. Somehow I have been a day ahead so far for each day this week.

I am truly not trying to wish my life away!

Grandpa adores his grandkids and of course he believes they are all handsome/pretty and smart! We were just sitting around chatting one afternoon and Grandpa was commenting about just how my 4 year old girl is absolutely beautiful. He just finds it amazing that we have such a beautiful child. No one in his family is that beautiful, he jsut can’t figure out where her beauty comes from.

I pipe up and say that she gets it from her mother. In a very serious voice he says, ‘Nope, don’t see it!’

Have you ever found yourself putting the cereal in the fridge or the milk in the cupboard? Well, here is a new one for me… Yesterday I was driving in the car and about to turn the radio down because the air conditioner was up too high!

On our recent drive down to Orlando we stopped in at Grandpas for an overnight stay. We also stopped in on the return trip home. It was a great opportunity to break up the drive and visit with family.

On the drive back to Grandpa’s place we stopped at the local cemetery to visit the family graves. Grandma died a few years back and was buried in a double grave site with the tombstone just waiting for Grandpa to add his death date and rejoin his true love of 50 years of marriage.

Death is a difficult topic for children to understand, and real names versus family titles such as Grandma, Grandpa can be confusing. On the headstone it says Victoria Grace . I explained that Victoria was Grandma Vicky. Then I showed them the adjoining headstone for Horace and my number one son asked me if I knew him. I again explained that Horace is Grandpa. In shock he asked, “Grandpa is dead?”

We quickly explained that Grandpa is alive and well and just has his place for eternal rest ready for when the time comes. We will then complete the headstone engraving.

We recently returned from 5 days in Orlando. I had the pleasure of taking my three children ages 8,7 and 4 to three days of Disney theme parks. Just me and the kids in Orlando in July! What fun

As I pushed the three kids around the park in a doubl stroller other tired, perhaps frustrated parents would look in awe and say “and she has three kids!” Perhaps my efforts made others feel a little better that day!

So we spent 6 hours on the beach yesterday. We take the big tent top for shade, the cooler full of food & drinks, water toys, the obligatory bucket and spade, and of course the sunscreen.

All items were used liberally throughout the day - except the shade and the sunscreen! Needless to say we are not heading back to the beach today. And 4 out of 5 of us are natural blondes! Today, the 5th has the dubious pleasure of being an honorary blonde (or lobster! )

My blonde 4 year old has her own way of speaking…

kapleece - people who keep the streets safe from crime
babatisim - religious act ….
Spongeabob - SpongeBob SquarePants
sunscream - protects your skin from sun damage
speed lemon - speed for vehicles and fruit?

GamblinTwo bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived .and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.” With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, “Come on, baby…. Southern Girl needs new clothes!”

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down… And squealed… “YES! YES! I WON! I WON!” She hugged each of the dealers… And then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?” The other answered, “I don’t know… I thought you were watching.”

Moral —
Not all Southerners are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But, all men….. Are still men